


Adrenaline

by thekinoist (generalllymild)



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Lots of strawberries, M/M, Polyamory, also im sorry changgu youre not actually boring im SORRY, bad boy!hyunggu, everyone thinks everyone is The Prettiest, hongseok has commitment problems but is soft for yanan, hyunggu and hongseok bond over being soft for yanan, hyunggu dirty dancing, polytagon, they lovin' the Adrenaline, warning for mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 11:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14056140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/generalllymild/pseuds/thekinoist
Summary: Hongseok loves the adrenaline a bit too much and Yanan loves a bit too much. Hyunggu just is a bit too much. It takes a lot more than 10$ for it to be called even.





	Adrenaline

 

 

Hongseok loves the challenge and lives for the adrenaline. It’s like he can’t just stay, everytime he thinks this time it’s the one, this time he’ll let them wake up next to him and make breakfast with strawberries and even sweeter kisses, live happily ever after, never even thinking about anyone else because it would be enough; he opens his eyes way before sunrise and the air suddenly feels suffocating, the legs tangled with his are suddenly twines holding him captive and he needs to get away. And he’s walking away, waking before sunrise so he won’t get too comfortable, won’t feel too secure in his lover’s arms. Won’t fall for them, because what good has ever come out of that.

 

But Hongseok lives for the adrenaline. So he’ll run into someone new. Someone too pretty for their own good, too tall and dark or tiny and cute, and he can’t help himself. Someone too much of a challenge, too hard to break for it not to be a good challenge. And that’s all it takes, the challenge. So he picks and breaks and then, before getting attached, he goes, leaves behind broken promises of tomorrows that’ll never be.

 

\--

 

The sun is setting lower by the minute and the lights of the streets keep whispering to Hongseok. To go, to let someone pretty pay for his drinks, to find another challenge. There’s something restless inside his chest, something that a book and a cup of tea can’t tame. And he knows he should hate it, but he can’t. He lives for the adrenaline.

 

Hongseok lets his eyes scan the dark room, colorful lights dancing in front of him, sweet air filling his lungs. He sees some familiar looking figures, but it’s getting harder after every spent night to remember their faces, their bodies, their hands, all blurring together. He wonders if they remember him.

 

“Ten bucks you can’t get him.” Hongseok turns to his left and meets the eyes of a boy, smaller than him, younger, too, but he has this look in his eyes. Like his eyes are as sharp as his jawline. Like he knows Hongseok won’t turn down a challenge like this. 

 

Hongseok lifts an eyebrow at him and glances at the direction the boy is looking at. Blond, all legs and limbs. Cute. Easy. He wonders why this kid thinks he’s a challenge. Then he sees how he leans closer to who he’s talking with, laughing at something apparently funny the other one had said, placing his hand on his knee. Gone. Hongseok can tell from all the way here how gone he is for the other boy, and that’s when he understands. This is why he’s a challenge.

 

“And you are?”, Hongseok finally turns back to the boy talking to him, putting on his unimpressed face.

 

“Kino.” The boy, Kino, offers him his hand, but Hongseok just stares at it and huffs out a laugh.

 

“Yeah, right, and I’m the Prince.”

 

“Whatever you say.” Kino smiles sweetly at him, ironically bowing at him, and turns to look at the blond boy on the other side of the bar again. “So, you interested?”

 

This isn’t what Hongseok does. He’s not heartless, he doesn’t break couples up, ‘cause if someone can find love they also deserve to keep it. But Kino, the boy with jaw sharper than a knife and a permanent smirk on his lips, places a hand on his thigh and winks at him, promising him more than ten bucks for a price, and well. It’s Hongseok, and this is all just a game. Hongseok’s already walking over to the blond and his boy. He puts on his game face and goes.

 

\--

 

Yanan loves. With no bounds, no barriers. He gives everything and so often, gets nothing for his love. He loves too much, too deeply, too quickly. He loves too much and at the end, everyone always leaves. He’s so tired of people walking away from him, of pretending to still be asleep as they collect their jeans from his bedroom floor, pretending this is how it’s supposed to be. But that won’t be how this goes. Not this time.

 

This time he thinks he has found someone who’s right instead of left, kind instead of all sharp edges, someone who’ll gladly pay for Yanan’s drinks, someone who’s not all pretend. Someone real. 

 

“So, Changgu. Tell me about you,” Yanan asks and leans his chin on his hand, close enough to the boy to hear him over the music, maybe a bit closer than necessary, just cause he can. He swirls his glass around, taking a sip. He feels the music blazing around them, sees the lights hit his glass and Changgu’s face. His mind is a bit hazy, the good kind of way. 

 

Yanan listens to Changgu tell him about his life, his friends and his part-time job at a frozen yogurt bar, about his studies. Yanan listens but he doesn’t  _ listen, _ lets the word pass him without understanding what he’s actually saying. He tries, wants to let this be the one time that everything works out for him, to give Changgu a chance but. He can’t help remembering how it always goes. All the people who came before Changgu, not that there’s all that many, but enough for it to hurt. 

 

Yanan smiles and laughs in all the right places, leans into Changgu and lets him pay for his drinks. All Yanan can think of is how normal Changgu’s life is. How different the last one was. How Yanan craves the excitement of someone less boring, someone dangerous. Someone all sharp edges. Suddenly everything tastes bitter inside his mouth. 

 

When Yanan looks down at the table, there’s a napkin waiting for him. He hadn’t noticed anyone putting it there, but as he picks it up it sure does feel real between his fingers. It doesn’t say much, but it makes Yanan’s heart beat faster, uneven, full of adrenaline. 

 

‘When you get bored, when you realize it’s the adrenaline you’re missing, I’ll be there for you.’ That’s all it says, but it’s enough. A bit corny, yes, but it’s  _ something _ . Yanan checks if Changgu had noticed anything (he hasn’t), and then lets his eyes roam the room. It doesn’t take long for him to find him, a knowing smile on his face and eyes that pierce right through Yanan. 

 

Yanan looks back at Changgu, who’s still talking, and sure, he’s pretty, but even with the lights on his face, he’s black and white where the napkin guy is overflowing with color, a sparkling new thing. Changgu is nothing compared to him, even though Yanan tries, wants to look at him and find him more beautiful than anyone else but he can’t. It’s the adrenaline pumping in his veins that gets him up on his feet, mumbling a half-assed apology to a confused Changgu and. He’s already walking into the wolf’s mouth. Maybe this is why Yanan never seems to find right. He always chooses the left.

 

\--

 

Hongseok is pretty sure his little trick won’t work. He only had a few minutes to watch their conversation, a few minutes to notice how the blond wasn’t maybe so gone for the guy after all, how his laughter was always a beat too late, not quite real enough. And this other guy, how he’s clearly not the blond’s type. Too gray, too flat. And that’s where Hongseok will come in. ‘Cause if anything, Hongseok isn’t gray.

 

He barely gets to his seat before he sees the blond lift up his little message. Hongseok almost feels bad for the other guy, seeing how it only takes a few moments for the blond to get up, gathering his coat in a hurry, barely even giving him an explanation. He almost feels bad, but then he’s too busy watching the blond and his tall legs walk towards him. He really is pretty. 

 

“Hi.” The blond says as he’s towering over Hongseok. He suddenly looks a bit shy, younger. Hongseok wonders if this is right after all. Wonders how far do his challenges go. How far will he go with this game before someone gets hurt.

 

“Hi, stranger.” Hongseok smiles at him, tries not to look intimidating. “I’m Hongseok.”

 

“Yanan.” Yanan huffs out a breath, as if letting go of his defences, or dignity, deciding to regret this some other time. “So, where can i find this excitement you promised?” Yanan gives him a wicked grin and Hongseok thinks it might be him who’s getting hurt here. 

 

\--

 

Hongseok is taking Yanan’s hand, getting on his feet and starting to make his way to the door, taking one last glance around the room of dancing lights and. He sees Kino, there in the middle of it all, as if on purpose dancing so all the lights hit him just right, showing off the sweat on his collarbones, his see-through white shirt moving with him and making him look like a damn model. He sees Kino, dancing with a tall dark guy right behind him, lust clear in his features even from a distance, Kino basking in the attention. He looks like he belongs there. Like he’s meant to be adored. Hongseok wants to adore him.

 

Hongseok is snapped back to reality by Yanan, who has stopped and drags Hongseok to a stop too. Hongseok follows his gaze and ends up watching Kino dance again. 

 

“You know him?” Hongseok asks.

 

Yanan looks at Kino and the dark guy, but he doesn’t  _ look  _ at them, his eyes unfocused on the scene, his look blurry and hazy. Like he’s remembering something. Like the past is catching up on him. 

 

Yanan shakes his head slightly, as if gathering his thoughts back together and finally drags his eyes back to Hongseok. He stares at their joined hands briefly and then gives him a half-smile that’s probably meant to be reassuring. It’s not. “No, just thought I’ve seen the other guy before. Must be a different person, though.” He squeezes Hongseok’s hand and says, “Let’s go.”

 

Hongseok bites his lip, not buying Yanan’s explanation, but not wanting to ask, it’s not even really any of his business. He lets Yanan lead him forward again but his eyes run to Kino and meet his gaze.

 

“I owe you,” Kino mouths at him.

 

Kino throws him a wink while running his hands down the guy’s chest, but there’s something different about his smile. Something odd, almost sad, bittersweet. Yanan doesn’t give him time to dwell on it for any longer, though. Hongseok figures it’s nothing. Not his business. It’s all just a game anyway.

 

\-- 

 

“You’re not gonna leave me like everyone else, right?” Hongseok freezes for a second at Yanan’s words. Hongseok’s hands still for just barely a moment where they were messing Yanan’s hair to a trainwreck, and he’s sure Yanan notices. 

 

“You’re way too pretty for that,” Hongseok whispers, kissing his neck and trying not to let his heart beat out of his chest. The worst thing is he’s not even lying. Yanan is so beautiful, he looks like a greek god for fuck’s sake, and it’s not just the visuals, but his hands are the comfortable kind of warm, wrapping up his slightly smaller ones like they belong, and it’s not just his body but his heart and mind are so pure, managed to stay so innocent all the while kissing Hongseok like he was the water in the middle of a desert. And his voice, forcing him to listen to it even when he speaks too much, maybe the alcohol making him chatty, or maybe he’s always like this, even when his pronunciation isn’t perfect, even when he forgets words or mumbles through the difficult ones, even then. His voice could stop wars.

 

“I won’t hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore,” Hongseok stops to look into Yanan’s eyes. The worst thing is he really wants to keep this one, doesn’t want to break another promise. But he doesn’t know if he can.

 

“But you will. I see it in you. I saw it in your smile the first time i laid eyes on you, saw you’d just break me and never call me back,” Yanan’s voice is trembling now and he jerks his hands away from Hongseok like his skin burned him. Like he had already hurt him. Hongseok wants to hold him, to protect him, but how could he protect Yanan from himself without leaving, without doing exactly what Yanan predicted him to do? 

 

“I–” Hongseok doesn’t know what to say. Yanan collapses onto the sofa, curling into himself. Hongseok stands still where Yanan left him, right in front of the front door with his shoes and coat still on. Hongseok feels like he has been thrown into the middle of a hockey game without any gear, with no idea of the rules. 

 

“I did know him once, you know. The guy from the club. The pretty one. I hadn’t seen him for a year and two months, but i do know him. Hyunggu,” Yanan’s sounds so vulnerable, it makes Hongseok’s heart hurt. It takes him a while to put it together, to realize it’s Kino Yanan’s talking about. He knew Kino wasn’t his real name. His head is spinning. 

 

“He taught me what it’s really like, how easy it is to leave, to be left. I really thought he cared for me, but apparently i was just a game to him. When i wasn’t entertaining enough for him anymore, when he found someone more interesting, he just left. It only last for a few months, but at the end of it all, i thought i loved him. He made me love him and then he was gone.” There’s tears on Yanan’s cheeks. “There’s something about you that reminds me of him.”

 

Hongseok wants to punch this Kino, or Hyunggu, he really does. He wants to punch himself. “I’m really sorry, Yanan. I really am.” Hongseok turns and opens the door, walking out before things get any messier. Yanan’s too good for this. For Hongseok’s stupid games. This hadn’t been the plan but he could still save himself. Just runaway. 

 

\--

 

Hongseok feels a paper being slipped into the pocket of his jacket. He looks up from staring at his glass and is met with a familiar jawline.

 

“10 bucks, just like i promised.” Kino grins at him, this time dressed  in a fitting black shirt with a low v-cut and black eye make-up. It looks illegally good on him. “So, was he worth your time?”

 

It all floods back to Hongseok. Yanan crying, him leaving. Him wanting to punch Kino. “I didn’t sleep with him.” Hongseok takes the 10$ note from his pocket and slides it back to Kino. 

 

“It went that bad, huh?” Kino feels a rush of disappointment come over him and really, he has no idea why, shouldn’t he be happy Yanan isn’t offering himself to every stranger? Happy that Kino was special to Yanan. As special as he was to Kino, maybe. But deep down he knows he has no right to him anymore.  Maybe never had.

 

“What, wasn’t he pretty enough, is that it? Or did you get cowardly in the end? Trust me, Yanan won’t bite. Unless you want him to,” Kino rambles on, doesn’t know why he’s telling all this to a stranger. Just wants to tell someone how good Yanan is, how he deserves only the best. Unlike him.

 

“He’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. And yeah, I’m sure you know all about him.” Hongseok grits his teeth together. Yanan deserves better than this guy. Better than Hongseok. 

 

Then Hongseok remembers why he’s here. He has work to do. Work that doesn’t include knocking Kino out cold. Not yet, at least.

 

“Bet you 10 bucks you can’t get me.” Kino almost chokes on nothing, staring at Hongseok with disbelief. Hongseok just flashes a grin at him. The great seducer: he truly lives up to his imago. Kino has heard all about him. 

 

Kino is a bit taken aback, sure, but it doesn’t take him long to recover, starting to form a fighting plan in his head. He did expect Hongseok to ask him some hard questions like ‘Why did you make that bet with me about your ex’ or ‘What the fuck is your deal’, to which Kino had already came up with answers of his own; ‘Maybe i like seeing my exes with hot guys’ and ‘The same as yours’. The questions never come, though. Only this, whatever  _ this _ is. 

 

“Dance with me, then. If you dare.” Kino switches his flirting face on, taking Hongseok’s hand and pulling him towards the dance floor. Hongseok’s heart is betraying him, beating too fast, his mind flashing back to Kino dancing with the dark guy. So he has a faint idea of what’s coming before Kino turns to face him, an evil glint in his eyes and starts swaying his hips to the music. But it still makes Hongseok’s mouth run dry all the same. 

 

\--

 

Yanan swears after every morning to never go back to a bar anymore. He hasn’t managed to keep that promise yet and today isn’t the day he’s about to start. He walks into the same club again, this time a beanie pulled over his hair, his head low. 

 

_ ‘I’ll get him, for you. I’ll get him and break him like he broke you, so he knows what’s it like to be left. For you, Yanan. Because you shouldn’t be hurting, you’re way too pretty for that.’ –Unknown number. _

 

Yanan got the text late at night, after Hongseok had left him crying like the pathetic person he apparently has become. He had immediately known it was from Hongseok, obviously. But the text. It had made him feel instantly so much better, stronger. It had dried his tears and made him believe again, as twisted as it is.

 

So here Yanan is, not searching for the right but lefts that have already let him down in the past. He takes a seat in the darkest corner and waits. He waits until he sees one after the other walk in, like he knew they would, a bad habit. He waits until Hyunggu drags Hongseok into the middle of the flashing lights and starts his magic. And he watches. 

 

Hyunggu has always knows he’s good. He has this smirk on his lips as he runs his fingers through his black hair, throwing his head back a bit and closing his eyes. When Hongseok just stands there, he takes his hands and places them on his waist, saying something to him that makes Hongseok gulp. Hyunggu just laughs at him and turns around in his hold, so that his back is now glued to Hongseok’s chest. 

 

Yanan had expected it to hurt, to make him hate the both of them even more, to make him miss their touch, but that isn’t what he’s feeling. He feels excitement in his veins at the sight of them together. He feels a smile creep around the edges, lifting the corners of his mouth up without his permission. 

 

Yanan sees as Hongseok relaxes against Hyunggu and how he now actually lets himself melt into the rhythm, to enjoy the feeling of Hyunggu against him. Yanan relaxes with him, enjoys with them. Hongseok leans in to whisper something into Hyunggu’s ear. Hyunggu all but keens at his words. Hyunggu has always loved the attention, the praise, something Yanan never could give him quite as much as Hyunggu wanted, needed. Yanan feels the adrenaline thrum through him, too.

 

Yanan sees as Hyunggu turns back around to face Hongseok and he sees Hongseok grip a handful of his hair and pull their mouths together. And Yanan doesn’t feel disappointment, hurt, jealousy. Hyunggu and Hongseok make an amazingly capturing couple. Okay, maybe he feels a bit jealous, jealous that he can’t walk up to them and kiss them like he wants to, wants to take them home and keep them. His very own adrenaline. 

 

_ What are you doing, _ a voice inside Yanan’s head asks and he falls back to reality. He has no clue. He came here to see, the hell, he doesn’t even know. To see Hyunggu be broken to pieces? To see Hongseok, the most beautiful man he has seen after Hyunggu, Hongseok who didn’t take advantage of him but wants to make him justice even if he gets nothing from it? To see Hyunggu dance? He doesn’t know. He’s sure this can’t be healthy. He’s head is already pounding. 

 

\--

 

“Do you like it? All the people watching you, watching us and drooling over how good we look together. Everyone being jealous of me right now.” Hongseok whispers into Kino’s ear, his head feeling light, Kino’s skin hot against his hands where his shirt has lifted up. 

 

Hongseok hears Kino’s breath hitch and then he’s turning around, Hongseok is burying his fingers into Kino’s black hair and pulling him close, closer and then it’s all Kino, Kino, Kino and suddenly they’re at Hongseok’s flat and he’s throwing Kino onto his king-sized bed that he uses alone because he never takes anyone home with him and. All Hongseok feels is Kino, this devil of a boy.

 

Hongseok wakes up alone with a handwritten note on his nightstand, next to his stack of books. It says ‘i guess we’re even now xx”. Hongseok remembers the 10$ he gave back to Kino and wishes he wouldn’t have. Hongseok punches his fist into his bedroom wall and curses over how much it hurts. 

 

\--

 

The rain is hitting his window, waiting for him to take his eyes away from it so it could open every lock in the whole house, every brick Yanan has built to try to protect himself from the storm. It’s waiting so it could break the windshield, scatter the pieces of glass all around him. Yanan is laying flat on his bed, staring at the window, or the rain falling outside, feeling the walls spin even though he’s pretty sure he isn’t drunk. A million thoughts, a million pictures are running in a circle inside his head. 

 

The first smile Hyunggu gave him. The spring and the picnics, the rainfall and the violet umbrellas. Hongseok waiting for Yanan to walk to him, knowing he will. Hyunggu showing Yanan his new choreo and Yanan rewarding him with a kiss. Hyunggu dancing with Hongseok like it was all he knew. Hongseok walking into the rain with Hyunggu, looking at him like he was all he knew. Hongseok telling him he doesn’t deserve to be hurt anymore. Hyunggu asking is he was still awake, telling him he loved him when he thought Yanan was asleep. Feeding Hyunggu strawberries. Hongseok walking out of the door. Hongseok with Hyunggu. Hyunggu with him. The rain, ever falling, merciless, awake. The rain, breaking everything in its wake. 

 

Yanan wants them. Not the right, not Changgu, who’s too kind, too gray, but the lefts, the too-loud, too-bright, and yeah, maybe Hyunggu is all sharp edges and Hongseok loves the adrenaline a bit too much to settle down but. He wants them, because he knows. It’s not just the beauty, not the adrenaline, not the lights hitting their features just right. He knows. How Hongseok’s voice gets soft when he talks to him, how Hyunggu played with his fingers, how he. Left him, with a gentle kiss on his forehead at 4 AM a year and two months ago. 

 

Maybe Yanan isn’t ready to forgive him, but he wants to. Wants to know. 

 

\-- 

 

Hyunggu walks home to find Yanan sitting on his doorstep. The rain is falling on him, soaking everything and making him shiver. Hyunggu’s heart clenches at the sight of him. 

 

“Yanan.” He says, but his voice doesn’t come out quite right, only managing a whisper, a breath of air. But Yanan hears.

 

“So, was he worth your time?” Yanan lifts his head to look Hyunggu into the eyes. He sees Hyunggu flinch at his words, and he looks almost vulnerable standing there, his hair wet and bags under his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry i cheated on you”, Hyunggu says, unable to look at Yanan anymore.

 

Yanan snorts, “It’s not cheating if we’re not together anymore, Hyunggu. It’s been a long time.”

 

“Not now. Before. I did.” Hyunggu’s voice is getting more and more quiet after every word. 

 

And it sinks to Yanan, what he’s saying. And it hurts, it does, but he can’t be surprised. It’s been a long time. He stands there staring at Hyunggu and doesn’t say anything, doesn’t let his face say anything.

 

“And that’s why i left. I didn’t want to hurt you but i did anyway and i’m sorry for that, Yanan. I promised i wouldn’t come back to you if you wouldn’t come to me first, promised to myself i would let you go, so you could be happy, so you could find someone better than me. Cause i’m not good, not for you or for anyone, really. I-” 

 

“Not even for Hongseok? You looked like you two would go together well enough.” Hyunggu looks at Yanan and there’s this all too familiar half-smirk on Yanan’s face, the same Hyunggu himself wears way too often, and it’s like Yanan isn’t surprised, isn’t upset, like he already knew. The answer Hyunggu almost had for his almost-question escapes in a breath. 

 

“Next time you cheat on me, do it with someone as hot as Hongseok. And don’t try to protect me by leaving. I don’t deserve it.” Yanan gets up and pulls his hood over his head, buries his hands into his pockets. “Next time, tell me.” He walks past Hyunggu back to the streets, his head held high. 

 

“Next time.” Hyunggu whispers into the night air when Yanan is already long gone, the rain already switched to nothing at all, just Hyunggu, the moon and the streetlights. 

 

\--

 

Kino has a plan. 

 

_ ‘You up for some more challenges? xx _ ’ he writes on a paper and creeps around the buildings to where Hongseok lives, his memory betraying him and making him take some wrong turns, but eventually he makes it and slides the piece of paper under his door, tip-toeing away before anyone notices. 

 

His heartbeat has just calmed back to normal, his body relaxed after the adrenaline, when a text comes through. 

 

_ “Does it involve a certain tall blond again, because if it does I’m in.”  _  Kino smirks, choosing to ignore the question of where exactly did he even get his number. He guesses someone is just as whipped for Yanan as he is. 

 

_ “Don’t even think about saying it.” _ Another text reads and Kino has to actually fight to get his grin to calm down, because people are watching and he has a imago to maintain. The wheels are spinning. Action.

 

\--

 

After spending a good amount of time trying to persuade Hongseok via text to dress up as robbers with him and kidnap Yanan from the safety of his own home, Hyunggu has to eventually give up. Instead he orders a black fancy car (the closest to a limousine he could afford) to go and pick Yanan up from his flat. He can only hope that Yanan will go with it. 

 

Outside, it’s beginning to look like spring, finally. Hyunggu takes the bus to his designation, ending up staring at the happy couples there, all pink and purple, smiles and small kisses. Hyunggu feels a strange feel of missing what he had, how it used to be, missing the feeling of having someone to come home to. Yes, it was sometimes too much, too close, sometimes he craved for something more, something Yanan couldn’t give him, but still. Over all the bad, there’s the feeling. The comfort. The familiarity. He misses it. Misses him.

 

Hongseok shows up not a minute too late. He tries to keep a stern face, tries not to let his smile show, as he spots Kino and his tiny kayak waiting on the shore. He has to bite his lip and tell his brain over and over again how Kino isn’t  _ this,  _ isn’t sweet or innocent, but an unhealthy obsession and an arrogant, cunning person. But it’s hard, seeing Kino in clothes all too normal for him, barefaced and of course there’s the familiar smirk on his face, but that’s really all the resemble he has to the Kino he last saw, the Kino in the club, the Kino in his bed. He’s still just as capturing as he was in his black clothes, a lightshow on his skin and make-up on. Hongseok might be double much more fucked than he thought. 

 

“Slept well?”, Kino asks and dodges the fist Hongseok shoves his way, laughing. 

 

“Asshole”, Hongseok mumbles at him and prepares for another attack, suddenly remembering he never got to punch him like he originally wanted to. Never too late, he thinks to himself and tries to get Kino into a headlock. He just skips away, still giggling and Hongseok runs after him, yelling at him.

 

“Don’t laugh, punk! Just wait til I catch you!” 

 

Kino runs and laughs, knowing he’s not exactly acting like a mature adult, but then again when has he ever claimed to be one. He knows a part of Hongseok actually wants to knock him out, but he also knows Hongseok enough to know he won’t. The feeling is different, when he turns his head to look at Hongseok. It isn’t soft familiarity, he doesn’t have something to miss with Hongseok, but there’s something. Something that makes Kino want to keep him, wants to stop running and let him catch him. 

 

\--

 

Kino tires of running eventually and Hongseok tires of acting to mad at him eventually, after pinning him down to the grass and biting his neck a bit too hard as a payback. So they sit and wait, trying not to eat all of the strawberries and chocolate Kino had prepared for their little date, with poor success. 

 

They wait, the sun getting lower and lower, and Hongseok finds himself actually talking to Kino, telling him things even he himself didn’t know about himself before, and Kino actually finds himself listening, giggling at Hongseok’s bad puns and finds himself half-laying on Hongseok lap by the end of it all. 

 

It feels weird to Hongseok, laying on the ground with someone, feeding them strawberries and chatting about whatever, but it’s good. It isn’t the adrenaline, it’s comfort, but it’s so good. It’s almost enough. 

 

It’s almost enough, Kino thinks, looking up at Hongseok, who looks incredible like this, his eyes closed, enjoying the sun. And he’s so much more than that, he knows that now. And it’s almost enough. But neither of them forget what they’re waiting for. Yanan, who never comes. Yanan, who isn’t leaving neither of theirs minds. Yanan. 

 

\--

 

Yanan loves. With no bounds, no barriers. He loves too much, too deeply, too quickly. He loves too much and at the end, everyone always leaves. 

 

And he’s so scared. Scared to let himself love again, to fall into Hyunggu again, who had left him once already, scared he’ll just break him again. He’s scared, scared to let Hongseok in, scared he will grumble in Hongseok’s gentle hands, his warm kisses melting him away. Scared he won’t stay. Scared he’ll think Yanan is too much for him. That they’re too much for him. 

 

Yanan’s scared of how will they all fit around the breakfast table, fit into the same bed, into the same life. Scared his lefts will be too wrong for him. That’s why he doesn’t go. Won’t let them break him again. Not this time.

 

Yanan stays, stares at his light purple bedroom wall and listens to jazz.  _ I am my own person _ , he thinks.  _ Free, no one’s. Don’t take me for granted, don’t play me when you feel like it and leave me behind when it’s a game over. I make my own decisions. And you better learn that.  _

 

_ And if i want you, it’s my decision, my call.  _

 

\--

 

That night, Yanan walks into the club he has sworn never go to again so many times. He walks in, his head held high and his steps confident. This time he doesn’t hide into the darkest corner, doesn’t look for anyone. He simply orders a drink and sits down to wait, a small smirk dancing on his lips. 

 

And sure enough, ten minutes later he feels someone sit next to him, heat radiating even though he isn’t touching him.  

 

“Hi, stranger.” Yanan turns to him, “I’m Yanan.” A smile lights up Hongseok’s face, rising slowly and shining so bright in the dim space. Yanan feels blinded but he doesn’t mind.

 

“Hongseok.” He answers. 

 

And sure enough, five minutes later Yanan feels another body sit on the other side of him, movements somehow sharp and smooth at the same time. A hand reaches for his, unsure, and Yanan intertwines his fingers with Hyunggu’s. 

 

“Bet you 10 bucks you can’t keep us”, Yanan says to Hyunggu, a teasing smirk on, a challenge, a chance. A next time. Hyunggu throws a half-confused, half-panicked glare at Hongseok, who just shrugs sheepishly. 

 

“Dance with me, then. If you dare.” And there’s the famous smirk of his, directed at both Yanan and Hongseok, and honest to fucking god, this is what Yanan has been waiting for.

 

 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know how did they end up being this soft in the end. Whipped. Also huge thanks to @kinos for helping me out with the ideas!!


End file.
